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  • Writer's pictureAndrea Schultz

This Project Will Be The Most Difficult Venture Yet

Updated: Jul 5, 2021

Everybody runs into writer's block or a rut when they're creating a new project, it's just part of the process - and it's understandable when you're challenged with learning a new platform or social media millennials are into nowadays (seriously, props to the teenagers out there who use Tik Tok!) And on top of that you have to actually plan content. On a calendar. And be strategic about it. Not gonna lie, I didn't realize how much social media would be involved when planning a subscription box - did you know there are statistics on the type of audience results you get when you post to your 3x3 Insta feed grid!?

There's also the design side of things - logos, color schemes, patterns, fonts, the thickness of lines, ecommerce websites, box samples. And then the blog side of things - prompts, schedules, the actual writing part (I will note - wine helps a lot with all of the above. Highly recommend Gatlinburg Wine Cellar's cotton candy wine. They do shipping. - you're welcome.)

Anyway, you get the point. There are a lot of opportunities to get stuck when creating a subscription box service.

However, the most challenging obstacle to overcome doesn't include proof reading and content brainstorming - It's the BPD.

BPD harnesses its own road blocks when it comes to being creative. One minute I could be enthusiastic about a new design idea and absolutely love it, the next day I could look at that same design and want to crawl into bed for the next 3 weeks and just give up (hahaha but like no, really.) The other issue I run into due to BPD is finding a "brand." One of the characteristics of the disorder is not having a sense of self. Because of this, many will "absorb" whatever personality they come into contact. This makes it really difficult to understand who I am as a person, especially as a brand. For the longest time I thought I was the jack of all trades because I fit into every high school clique. And then I realized I was just mentally ill! #wtf Within just the one week I've launched this pre-launch campaign, I've changed the logo design at least six times and have had to have confirmation from my boyfriend "are you sure this looks okay?" during the hate phase of the logo love-hate relationship. Either way, I've been trying to figure out a way to incorporate this into my website design since it's such a unique characteristic to BPD (and because I'm so indecisive, I don't want to change branding every time I have a "who am I!?" crisis.)

There's also the self doubt and relentless depression episodes every other 3 hours. And when it comes to a business, you can't just decide to "not do it today." I think a lot of people can relate to that though, regardless if you have BPD or not. Some days you just want to stay in bed, dreaming of an even comfier bed; but alas, you must go to work or take the dog out or feed thyself. Woa is the ever-accumulating mountain of responsibility - curse thee!

Nonetheless, the whole point of this subscription box service is to be as raw and authentic as possible - it's for people with mental health disorders, BPD, and just everyday struggles, so I want to be as relatable and transparent as possible.

Otherwise, I'm just the same as any other self-care box. And don't get me wrong, I love self-care subscription boxes. What I don't love is that they're very repetitive and accumulative. And by that I mean, I receive my products, I open them up as if it's Christmas, I have the excitement of a 5 year old for a solid 10 minutes, and then by the time I actually go to use the product, I'm too depressed or just not in the mood to use it. Granted, I can only withstand having the same teal nail polish sent to me after month 3 or smell the fields of lavender until my senses become immune to the stress-relieving aroma. And with the burden of having a personality disorder, it's extra hard to get into the self-care spirit when I've received my 9th face mask and have yet to use the 8 remaining #guilttrip.

The alternative here is that I could just be subscribing to the wrong kind of subscription boxes [insert thinking emoji here]? But even then, I want my service to serve people, not just sell products you could go out and buy yourself (read: I have a shopping impulsivity and the latter is a dangerous option #bpdproblems.) And in order to spread an authentic and raw experience, being vulnerable will be a key necessity - and the hardest aspect of this journey, in order to achieve just that! #bearwithme

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